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Rainbow Babies: All About
What is a Rainbow Baby?
A rainbow baby is a special blessing. This baby is for you after suffering the heartbreaking loss of a stillbirth, miscarriage, or infant death. It's like a real rainbow. It shines brightly in a dark and difficult time. After a loss, it's a rollercoaster ride of emotions: from grief to fear to joy, grief to gratitude, and everything in between.
Pregnancy Loss
It is an unimaginable loss to lose a baby at any age. As with all losses, emotions run the grief gamut. Kubler-Ross’ Stages of Grief (denial and anger, bargaining depression, acceptance, and denial) still apply. However, there are a few exceptions. Sometimes guilt or blame can be added to the loss of a baby a mother was carrying. She feels guilty. My first baby was lost and I felt guilty. Was there something wrong with me? Was it my diet? Was it too much worry? I was unable to desire to have another baby because of this additional emotional hurdle. Naturally, I was worried about the possibility of having another child.
Others moms want to have another chance and be pregnant immediately. They want to make their heartbreak more bearable by showing hope and love. Although they will never forget their baby, having a "rainbow", to look at after the loss, feels right. It doesn't matter what you feel. Every person deals with their loss in his/her own way.
Pregnancy with a Rainbow Baby
It is an incredible gift to be pregnant with a rainbow baby. It is a time of many joy-filled emotions after such a devastating loss. It can be stressful for mom. Although she is probably cautiously optimistic, her past losses may have a negative impact on the pregnancy. My rainbow baby was my first pregnancy. I was nervous. After having had 2 miscarriages, I was hesitant to set my expectations too high or become too attached to her. It's not possible to control our love for our children as mothers. It is part of our maternal instincts to love them right from their conception. It wouldn't have been worth it if I tried to protect my heart. Instead of focusing on that anxiety-filled pregnancy, I took action.
I rented it as soon as I could hear her heartbeat using an external monitor device (similar to the one Neeva Baby makes), It was so comforting to know that I could check her heartbeat whenever I was anxious about my pregnancy. Once I received immediate assurance, I was able to go about my daily activities. I was able to enjoy the second part of my pregnancy after getting over the anxiety. It doesn't matter what you do, embrace your rainbow baby. There are many ways to cope.
I believe you might be losing your battle if you're pregnant with a rainbow baby but are afraid to become too attached or too hopeful. You can't control your love for this baby. You can overcome the fear with hope and take care of yourself.
Raising a Rainbow Baby
Rainbow babies may have a different parenting style than their other children. Eva (Happy Eva After) says that a rainbow baby's parents may approach parenting differently than their other children. Many rainbow mamas will agree with me. It is difficult to predict the future, so we have to be realistic about how we will discipline our children and how anxious we are after giving birth. Others describe feeling a mixture of extreme gratitude for their healthy child and guilt for not feeling happy. Everyone is unique and all emotions are normal.
Celebrate a Rainbow Baby
No matter what your story, celebrating a rainbow baby is worth it.
- You can send a rainbow pregnancy announcement out to your family and friends to let them know that you are expecting a baby.
- Send invitations for a baby's birthday party! You will send it so far in advance that all your family members and friends will receive the information quickly.
- Your current baby can be shown posing with a sign that announces their promotion to big brother or sister.
- A rainbow baby onesie is a great gift idea for the baby, whether it's to take home from the hospital, or as a way to announce the arrival of a rainbow baby. This is the perfect gift for someone you care about who is pregnant with their rainbow baby.
- To welcome and honor your rainbow child, you can host a rainbow baby shower with family or a special celebration meal.
- Keep a Rainbow Baby Pregnancy Journal so you can remember every detail.
- If I were pregnant today with my rainbow baby, I would like to attend a Mother's Blessing, or Mother's Circle. This would allow all the incredible women in my life to come together and share their wisdom, love, and support.
- A special rainbow baby pregnancy photo shoot is possible.
Half of all pregnancies end in miscarriage, some of which are not even known to mothers. It feels like the greatest gift to be able again to get pregnant. Being able to have a rainbow baby and having it healthy are two special experiences that I am grateful for. You are not the only one grieving and hoping for your rainbow child. From one mama to the next, I send you so much love.
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