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Guide to postpartum survival
Do you remember when you were 38 weeks along and were so eager to have your baby, that you actually wanted to push a 7-pound child out of your lady parts. Because then your pregnancy would be over and you could go back to your normal life. Do you ever wonder what she was thinking when you look back on your bloated, bothered past self?
It can be difficult to live postpartum. It can also be messy. It can be painful in many ways. Your baby is likely to be neglected by you as you try to make him more comfortable with his new environment. In the process. Add social demands, such as an abandoned partner or relatives who want to visit you for a visit. It's easy to see why you're such a mess.
We won't sugarcoat the bad parts. But we moms who were there and got through it (plus carefully chosen experts) can offer some perspective. Continue reading. (We are sure you're still in your bathrobe. So, really, where else can you go?
Body homage
Your waistline is not great right now. You look pretty cute in comparison to your bloated, but firm pregnancy belly. Your once-taut middle was stretched over nine months to include a human basketball. Now that the ball is dropped, your stretched skin is waiting for it's elastic properties to kick in. Your abdominal muscles have been shifted and your uterus shrinks back to its prebaby size.
You might feel like your jeans won't fit because of all the chaos at your midriff. This is what every new mom feels. You can, and will, go back to your old size if you feel it is important. For now, let go of your insecurity and embrace the miracles that your body has just done. For a few weeks, you can get a lot more out of your maternity clothes or wear a muumuu. It's fine. It's okay. You should be able to communicate with baby quickly and comfortably, so don't wear tight jeans or tailored clothes.
Strangers may ask you when your baby is due. This awkward situation can be handled with a smile or truth. Friends will tell you that even though you feel like a beast, you look amazing. You won't be thrilled to see your body being discussed, just as you were when you were pregnant. You can change the topic or simply claim that your baby has a dirty diaper. This excuse is good for all situations, as you'll see.
Fill 'er up
Mama is an important part of caring for baby. Breastfeeding mothers will need to consume an additional 400-500 calories per day. Make sure you are getting the calories from the right places. Stephanie Rink, RD clinical dietitian at Northwestern Memorial Hospital, Chicago, says that when we are tired or stressed it is easy to turn to sugary foods and caffeine-rich beverages to get us through the day. These are temporary fixes. When you feel tired or overwhelmed, the best thing is to nourish your body.
Consume plenty of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Get at least eight glasses of water each day, with low-fat milk. The best source of usable calcium is still found in dairy products. Fish is a good source of DHA. This vitamin is essential for the brain and eyes development of babies. All food groups should be included in your meals, except if you have an allergy or other medical condition. You can have a treat every now and again. Limiting your self will only make you more stressed and frustrated.
You want to be happy with your food choices. As you breastfeed, your weight will slowly but surely drop. As Rink says, "Be patient. You were pregnant for 40 weeks. Give yourself the time you need to return to your pre-pregnancy weight. Accept your body.
A common complaint is postpartum constipation, sometimes accompanied by hemorhoids. Drinking water and eating fiber-rich foods (fruits, vegetables, whole grain) won't help. However, a stool softener can be helpful. Your doctor may recommend that you avoid stimulants laxatives. Gradually your hormones will stabilize and your bowel movements will return to normal.
Physical fitness is not important
Social pressure and celebrity moms shouldn't get in the way of your success. Lindsay Brin, CPT video trainer, founder of Moms Into Fitness, says that the body's first six weeks are when it is recovering. Your OB or midwife can help you decide when to exercise. Your midwife might suggest that you walk as soon as possible after your discharge from hospital. Or she may recommend that you limit your exercise to Kegels. It all depends on the nature of your birth and the perspective of your practitioner.
Take it slow, and work towards feeling better. Brin states, "It is impossible to get back to the size you were six months ago." Enjoy your time with your baby and adjust to your new life.
If your gut is causing you to feel down, don't despair! It has its own fitness program! Every day, the uterus shrinks by about one finger. Brin says that it will return to its pre-pregnancy size in five to six weeks. A shrinking uterus will result in more contractions, and breastfeeding will increase the power of those contractions. It is a good thing. However, it can be very painful. Some repeat mothers report that post-delivery cramps get worse with each child. If necessary, you can take over-the-counter painkillers.
C-sections are more dangerous than regular exercise. Follow your doctor's advice and limit walking, climbing stairs, and lifting. It takes patience and time to allow your incisions to heal. However, your body will eventually be able to resume exercise.
Falling in love again
Some mothers bond with their children instantly while others take longer. Heidi Mangus, Newtown, Pennsylvania's first mom, says that her experience was not filled with tears or overwhelming emotion. But the love was immediate and factual.
Although your baby may be new, he is not an alien. You've always been physically connected. He can hear your heartbeat, your voice, and smell. He considers you his most comforting and intimate link to his childhood in the womb. Babies communicate through touch. Offer lots of contact with skin to skin, especially during the first weeks. Consider allowing your infants to sleep in your room for the evening. Talk to him, read to Him, and Show him that you are ready to respond gently to his cries.
Baby is used to being held in utero 24 hours a day, so he isn't getting spoiled. Instead, it is weaning him off the constant warmth that he craves. Put the dishes in the dishwasher, turn off the phone and spend time with your baby. Jenn Reed, a North Salt Lake mom, says, "Negative feelings all slip away for awhile as my babe snuggles up to my chest." This will help calm mama’s "baby blues", promote breastfeeding success, and build the bond you desire.
Postpartum depression is when it becomes difficult to connect with your baby. Sidebar: To see a list of symptoms. This condition needs professional attention. Kristina Deigiannidis MD, perinatal psychiatrist, and director of UMass Memorial Medical Center's Depression Specialty Clinic, states that postpartum depression can lead to problems in mother-child bonding and delays in child development. It can also impact [the mother's] relationships with her partner, and other children in their family.
If you feel you require an antidepressant prescription, it's okay to speak with your OB prior to your six-week visit. If necessary, she can either write the prescription or refer to a psychiatrist.
Lifestyle changes can help with milder symptoms, such as "baby blues", and other conditions. Even if it means getting up in the morning and having to leave the house messy, rest is essential. Deligiannidis suggests that you make time for friends and/or your partner to go out. Deligiannidis suggests that you join a support group and ask for help. The postpartum period can be lonely even with your baby by your side.
Take care
While baby is the focus of your vision, don't forget about the relationship which made this all possible. The introduction of a baby can be a way to bring people together, or it can cause tension between them. Mama naturally feels the need to claim her baby and spend all her energy on her child. This can make daddy feel forgotten or even replace the child he created. He is sad for his loving wife, who used to have eyes only for him.
It can be tempting to ignore the needs of your partner while you focus on your own recovery or parenting steps, but he is worth it. Talk to him about how he feels. Even if you don't have any sexual relations, be affectionate. Assure him that you are still you and that things will eventually settle down. Postpartum moms who have had successful marriages report that communication and working together are the keys to their success.
It's a team effort to have a baby (OK, breastfeeding can be difficult, but diaper changes and skin-to-skin snuggles are easy!) will draw you closer. Mangus states, "We must divide and conquer as teams, and that's just impossible without communicating." You can have fun with baby's silly faces, and your first-time follies.
Your home might be overcrowded with well-meaning family members in the first weeks. While it is important to receive help and warm casseroles, it is also important to spend quality time with your family only during this time of adjustment. Paternity leave may not always be available. However, it's worth taking advantage of it if it is. While you might not require your partner's assistance with the baby, it will strengthen the family bond. If he is close to his baby, he will be more open to sharing his wife's life.
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